Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just want to make out with him forever
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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