talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just had sex bonerless
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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