You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
