Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
