dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
