At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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