ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
