How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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