so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
