That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
