Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
