No stitches, just platelets and will power
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize