its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
