Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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