I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize