If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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