Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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