Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
