you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
