I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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