i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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