Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
