Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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