Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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