my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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