I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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