Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
this just has baby written all over it
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
