can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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