Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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