I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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