May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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