I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
