im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
