Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
thus making me awesome and them whores
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
