Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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