Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
