I'm jealous of your bromance
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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