New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
