i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
