The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
