you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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