i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
