I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
