life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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