Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
