Buhtt sex?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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