Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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