Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
4 words: hood of his car
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
