Whatcha textin bout Willis?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
