I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize