508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
