when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
