Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
