scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
