So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
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I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
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so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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