Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
