What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
