Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
